Who are you, really? And why are you here?

Every living being goes through it. We're born, we live, and then we die. For many of us, much of what happens in between is a blur. We're born with big ideas of who we'd like to be. However, little by little, those ideas are chipped away as well-meaning teachers, parents, and bosses at our "real jobs" urge us to play it small and be more "realistic." Before we know it, years have gone by, we have a little less hair, a little more weight, and a lot more regret.

I love listening to motivational speakers and one thing Les Brown often says is, "don't die with your dreams inside you." For so many years, I've sat with people who would talk to me about how they love making candles, singing, or interior decorating. I once was speaking with a friend who wanted to be a singer but hated the sound of his own voice. Personally, I would spend many years learning and researching, listening to podcasts and interviews by some of the world's best and brightest, seeking to get the secret sauce of what makes them so awesome. As a young girl, growing up in the 90s, I admired artists like Brandy, Aaliyah, Monica, and Mya, who were not much older than me, but were out in the world living their dreams. I would jump onto any stage that would have me and raise my hand for anything that involved art or writing. I KNEW from a young age that I wanted to be a creative and that's what I would set out to do... that was until I had a meeting with my high school college counselor who suggested that art was not a realistic career, and that I should pursue something in business or accounting that would provide a steady living.

Like so many people, possibly even you, I took that advice. I had the mindset that everyone else knew what was better for me, and if I was the odd person out, then I needed to fall in line. Looking back now, I wouldn't exactly call this decision a mistake, but I will say that it set me on a trajectory of painful life lessons that I cursed as I went through them, but can now look back and smile, knowing that everything that happens in life happens for us and not to us. The lessons that I learned, the detours that I took in my life, returned me to what mattered most and who I truly am.

Had I not gone through the things that I had, I would have never published a book, became a mom, created countless poems, songs, and paintings, and I would not have connected with my wonderful tribe of creative friends who share similar stories and experiences to me. I've learned so much from these people, and I'd like to think that at least a few have learned from me. Connecting with these awesome souls, especially my local artist community here in Monroe, Louisiana via the Black Creative Circle of North Louisiana, only further helped me to hone my voice and establish my presence as a unique artist with my own message and background.

Building on this idea, if you've heeded some bad advice or found yourself taking a detour, I want you to realize a few things. First of all, I want you to know that where you currently are in life is but a stop on your journey; a stop where you've landed either by your actions or lack of actions. If this makes you upset, you're not alone. There was a time when I would have been upset as well, but there is an awesome power in realizing that your life is 100% your responsibility. This means that if you got yourself to where you are, with intention, you can get yourself to where you want to go, which brings me to my next point.

It is not too late, you are not too old, too young, too inexperienced, too fat, too skinny, too ugly, or whatever other description you'd add behind the too to create the life you love. Far too often, we tell ourselves all the reasons why the answer is no instead of asking ourselves, what if the answer was yes?

Going back to my years of studying the greats, one of the most important things that I've learned is that none of them knew what they were doing or if it would have even worked. They simply put one foot in front of the other and allowed themselves to make tons of mistakes. Perfection is the enemy to progress, and it's something many of us are guilty of. Albert Einstein had terrible grades in school. Oprah's grandmother told her that she would grow up to be a maid. Thomas Edison failed countless times before finding success but we know the names of all of these people because they continued to show up for themselves.

So I ask you, who are you at your core? You could be a father, a mother, a cashier, or a bus driver. But at your core, when you think of doing that thing that brings a spark to your eyes and makes you want to leap out of bed, who are you and what are you doing? We spend a lot of time talking about not having the answers when they are often easier to find than we think.